A Tale of Sheldon & Penny: Part 1: Penny for his Thoughts
by Shipper1990
Summary: When Penny moves into her new apartment it's love at first sight - for Sheldon. Retelling of season 1 from Sheldon's POV. Start of my Shenny series.
1. Pilot

Author's notes:

\- This is the first part of my long-term (potentially infinite) Shenny story

\- Each part will have it's own writing style or theme as I'm experimenting with my writing. Future parts will also feature crossovers with other shows.

\- The first part is a retelling of season 1. One chapter per episode, starting with the second scene from the pilot (first scene can be considered not happened as I think it's very off character).

\- Talking about off character, a romance story with Sheldon of course always requires pretty big changes in his character, but I'm trying to make at least a bit of a believable developement.

\- It's Sheldon's POV, his thoughts are _italic_

* * *

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

"Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?", Sheldon asked as he and Leonard walked up the stairs of 2311 North Los Robles Avenue.

"Not really.", the experimental physicist answered uncaringly.

"If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.", Sheldon stated anyway.

"I don't care.", Leonard replied. "Two millimeters? That doesn't seem right."

"No, it's true. I did a series of experiments when I was twelve, my father broke his clavicle."

"Is that why they sent you to boarding school?"

"No, that was the result of my work with lasers."

The two scientists arrived on the fourth floor and saw a blonde woman in the apartment across from theirs. "New neighbor?", Leonard asked.

"Evidently." _Stupid question._

"Significant improvement over the old neighbor."

"The two hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is." _Hell of an improvement._

"Oh, hi.", the woman said as she noticed the guys standing in the hallway.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi." _What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of something to say other that hi?_

"Hi?", the woman repeated, clearly irritated.

"We don't mean to interrupt, we live across the hall."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Oh, uh, no ...", Leonard stammered. "We don't live together ... – uh, we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms." _Great job making a horrible first expression, moron._

"Oh, okay. Well, guess I'm your new neighbor, Penny."

"Leonard, Sheldon."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi." _Not this again._

"Hi."

"Hi. Well, uh, welcome to the building.", Leonard ended the highly awkward greeting.

"Thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.", Penny suggested.

"Oh, great.", Leonard replied cheerfully.

"Great."

"Great." _Well, at least it's something other than hi._

"Great. Well, bye."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Penny closed the door and the two physicists headed over to their apartment.

"Should we have invited her for lunch?", Leonard asked.

"No. We're going to start season two of Battlestar Galactica."

"We already watched the season two DVDs."

"Not with commentary." _Shut up, it would be nice to have lunch with Penny._

"I think we should be good neighbors, invite her over, make her feel welcome."

"We never invited Louis slash Louise over."

"Well, than that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle. I'm going to invite her over, we'll have a nice meal and chat."

Sheldon looked frightened as Leonard walked back over to apartment 4B. _Chat? As in talk? To Penny? For whatever reason I can't seem to think of two consecutive words when she's around._

Leonard knocked and Penny opened the door. "Hi again."

"Hi."

"Hi." _Well, that's a step back._

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Anyway, uh ... we brought home Indian food and, uh ... I know that moving can be stressful and I find that when I'm undergoing stress that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative and I don't have to tell you that, uh ... a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about." _Hard to believe that it is possible to make an even worse second impression._

"Way to invite her to lunch.", Sheldon muttered, but not quietly enough for Penny not to hear him.

"Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?"

"Uh, yes."

"Oh, that's so nice, I'd love to.", Penny accepted, making both Leonard and Sheldon smile happily.

"Great.", Leonard said and all three crossed the hallway. "Okay, well, make yourself at home."

"Okay, thank you.", Penny replied and looked around in the living room. "This looks like some serious stuff.", she said pointing at one of the whiteboards. "Leonard, did you do this?" _Of course! My work, that's something I can always talk about._

"Actually that's my work.", Sheldon said quietly.

"Wow."

"Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke, it's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.", Sheldon explained confidently.

"So you're like one of those beautiful mind genius guys?"

"Yeah."

"This is really impressive."

"I have a board.", Leonard interrupted. "If you like boards, this is my board." _Typically Leonard, always in need of attention._

"Holy smokes."

"If by holy smokes you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure."

"What?"

"Oh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below here I sit broken hearted ...?"

"At least I didn't have to invent twenty-six dimensions just to make the math come out."

"I didn't invent them, they're there."

"In what universe?"

"In all of them, that's the point."

"Do you guys mind if I start?", Penny interrupted the argument.

"Uh, Penny, that's where Sheldon sits."

"So, sit next to me, Sheldon."

"No, you have to know, in the winter that seat is ..."

"Don't be so inflexible, Leonard.", Sheldon interrupted his roommate und sat down next to Penny.

Leonard sat down as well and started eating. "Well, this is nice. We don't have a lot of company over." _At least not such lovely company._

"So, Penny, tell us something about you.", Sheldon said.

"Well, I'm from Omaha, moved here three and a half years ago. I'm trying to make it as an actress, but for the moment I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. That's about it, that's the story of Penny."

"Well, that sounds nice." _I will have to try out the Cheesecake Factory._

Suddenly Penny started sobbing. "It was. Until I fell in love with a jerk."

Without hesitation Sheldon reached over and patted her hand. "There, there." _Please don't cry._

"Two years I live with him. Two years! I can't believe I trusted him."

"Should I say something?", Leonard whispered to Sheldon. "I feel like I should say something."

"You? No, you'll only make it worse."

"You want to know the most pathetic part? Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts, part of me still loves him – is that crazy?"

"No, not at all.", Sheldon answered. _Maybe a little bit._

Penny wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess. And on top of everything else I'm all gross from moving an my stupid shower doesn't work." _You're not gross. You're beautiful and you smell wonderful._

"Our shower works.", Sheldon stated.

"Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?"

"Not at all. It's right down the hall."

"Thanks. You guys are really sweet."

Sheldon blushed as he watched Penny heading for the bathroom. _Sweet. She thinks I'm sweet._

Raj and Howard entered after a short knock. "You have to see this.", the engineer said, skipping the greeting. "It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974."

"This is not a good time.", Leonard replied. "We're having the new neighbor over for lunch and she ..."

"She? You have a woman here?"

"Well, yeah."

"And you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?

"I'm not anticipating coitus."

"So she's available for coitus?"

"Everybody stop saying coitus!", Sheldon said louder than intended.

Penny reentered the living room only covered in a towel, immediately drawing the attention of all for men. "Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower?", she asked without noticing Raj and Howard. "Oh, hi. I'm Penny. I work at the Cheesecake Factory."

Seeing that Howard wanted to approach her with his typical sleazy look, Sheldon quickly got ahead of him. "I'll show you the trick with the shower." In the bathroom he quickly switched the setting. "Here you go."

"Thanks.", Penny said and stepped in the shower. Closing the shower curtain she dropped the towel on the floor.

For a second Sheldon just stood there. _Now she's completely naked. And less that a meter away from me, separated only by the shower curtain._

"Hey, Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"A favor? Of course, you can ask me a favor, I would do a favor for you."

"It's okay if you say no."

"I'll probably say yes." _I'll most definitely say yes._

"It's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you've just met." _Where is this going?_

One hour later

"Oh my god, what happened?", Penny asked as Leonard and Sheldon return to the apartment without their pants.

"Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards.", Leonard replied. "And I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory."

"I'm so sorry, I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn't be such an ass."

"It's not your fault.", Sheldon said.

"Well, thank you for trying, you guys are terrific." Penny hugged first Leonard, then Sheldon. _She's touching me! But it isn't bothering me. Why does it feel so different compared to other people touching me?_


	2. The Big Bran Hypothesis

Friday, October 5, 2007

"There you go, Pad Thai, no peanuts.", Leonard said as he served the take-out.

"But does it have peanut oil?", Howard asked worriedly.

"Uh, I'm not sure. Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up."

"Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.", Sheldon offered.

"Are there any chopsticks?", Raj asked.

"You don't need chopsticks, this is Thai food. Thailand has had the fork since ..." A knock on the door interrupted Sheldon's lecture. "I'll get it.", he said and hurried to the door. _I hope it's Penny, I haven't seen her all day._

"Hey, Sheldon."

"Hi."

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all. Do you want to come in?"

"Actually I was hoping you could help me out with something, I ..."

"Of course." _Idiot, let her finish before you answer._

"Oh.", Penny replied surprised. "Okay, great. I'm having some furniture delivered tomorrow and I may not be here, so ..."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, you're the best. You just have to sign for it and have them put it in my apartment. Here's my spare key."

"Consider it done."

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Helplessly Sheldon stared at the surprisingly large packet. _Stupid delivery man, just dropping it here. How am I supposed to get it up to the fourth floor? I should have done something about the elevator long ago._

Leonard came done the stairs. "What's that? Didn't know you expected a delivery."

"It's Penny's. I'm just carrying upstairs."

"You and what army?", Leonard asked mockingly.

"I can do it, I'm a physicist.", Sheldon replied stubbornly. _No way I'm going to let Penny down._

"Are you sure you don't want my help?"

Sheldon hesitated. _It doesn't help Penny if I don't get it upstairs at all. _"Fine."

"I'd say we lay it down and push it up instead of carrying it. That way the force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs, call it thirty degrees, so about half."

"Exactly half." _Why didn't I come up with that? I'm much smarter than Leonard._

"Yeah, yeah, exactly half, Doctor smartass." Carefully they lowered the package on the stairs and started pushing. "Why are you doing this anyway?"

"Penny asked me."

"Yeah, but since when do you do favors?"

_As if it were possible to deny Penny anything. _"Just keep pushing."

"Got an idea for the corner?"

45 minutes later

"Finally.", Leonard said as they reached the fourth floor. "Now what? Do we put it in front of her door?"

"I've got Penny's spare key."

"She gave you her key?"

"She trusts me." _And that's a really good feeling._

Just as Leonard and Sheldon pushed the packet over Penny's doorstep the waitress came up the stairs. "Hey guys."

"Hey Penny, your packet arrived."

"I helped carrying it upstairs.", Leonard added. _So pathetic._

"Great. Was it hard getting it up the stairs?"

_Hell yeah. _"No."

Leonard looked at Sheldon bewilderedly, but said nothing.

"Okay. Thank you."

"My pleasure. And here's your key back."

"Keep it, who knows when it might come in handy."

"Okay. If you need help setting it up or run a cable or anything else, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thanks, I will come to that."

Sunday, October 7, 2007

"Six two inch dowels.", Sheldon read.

"Check."

"One package Phillips head screws."

"Check."

"Okay, that's it, all parts on hand.", Sheldon said. "Penny, to be completely honest, while I have a theoretical understanding how the pieces fit together, I wouldn't consider myself very talented when it comes to the practical aspects."

"Don't worry, I grew up on a farm, I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was like twelve. I don't think a cheap Swedish media centre is much of a challenge for the two of us together." _Together. Somehow that has a very nice ring to it._


	3. The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

"Sounds like Penny is home.", Leonard said and took a couple of envelops off his desk.

"Doing the mail thing again?", Sheldon asked without looking away from his monitor.

"Hey, it's not my fault that ..."

"Cut the crap. We both know you're taking Penny's mail on purpose to have an excuse to talk to her."

"So what? What do you care?"

"Well, for starters it's illegal. And if you don't stop this, I will tell Penny."

"Fine. But someone has to bring her the mail, right?"

"I'll do it." Sheldon stood up and extended his hand. _Will give me an excuse to talk to her._

"What? No."

"Well, then we go together."

Leonard stared at his roommate angrily, but didn't argue further. He opened the apartment door, followed on his heels by Sheldon. "Penny, the mailman did it again, he ... – oh."

Penny was standing in the middle of the hallway kissing a stranger. "Uh, hi Leonard, Sheldon. This is Doug. Doug, my neighbors Leonard and Sheldon."

"What's up, bro?", Doug asked.

"Not much, bro.", Leonard replied, trying to act cool.

Sheldon didn't reply as he was suddenly feeling a sharp pain in his chest. _What is happening? I don't feel so good._

"Is everything okay?", Penny asked.

"Uh, yeah, I just got your mail again.", Leonard said and handed it to Penny.

"Thank you. I really have to talk to that mailman."

"I don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure it won't happen again.", Sheldon said starring at the floor. "Don't you agree, Leonard?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, if you say so."

After a moment of awkward silence Doug whispered something in Penny's ear, making her giggle. "Bye, guys."

"Bye."

"Bye." Still feeling the pain in his chest Sheldon returned to apartment 4A, slamming the door in Leonard's face. _Doug. Something about this guy is bothering me. And what kind of name is that anyway?_

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

"Please tell me that scratching post is for you, Leonard.", Sheldon said as he browsed through the supplies his roommate had bought.

"I know what you're thinking and I've taking your asthma into account. There's a feline geneticist in San Diego who has developed the cutest little hypo-allergenic calicos."

"First of all, you don't know what I'm thinking. If you could you're research would be far more advanced. Secondly, I'm not allergic to cats. And thirdly ..."

"I've been thinking about names.", Leonard interrupted him. "I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzyboots."

"And thirdly pets are against the roommate agreement."

"Come on, they're really cute and cuddly."

"This is obviously about Penny. Do you really think you can satisfy your need for a relationship with a genetically altered cat?"

"Maybe. It doesn't matter. The woman is not interested in me, the woman rejected me."

"Well, technically she didn't reject you. You did not ask her out." _Why can't I just shut up?_

"You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out."

"No, no, that was not my point. My point was, don't buy a cat."

"No, but you're right. I should march over there and ask her out." _Oh great. No way this is going to end well. Penny deserves so much better than Leonard. Or Doug. Stupid Doug._


	4. The Luminous Fish Effect

Monday, October 15, 2007

Sheldon was going through his and Leonard's mail as Penny came down the stairs. "Hey, Sheldon, shouldn't you be at the university?"

"No, I won't be going there any time soon."

"Okay. Thanks for fixing my letterbox by the way."

"No trouble." _My pleasure._

"So how come you're not going to work?"

"I'm taking a sabbatical, because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds."

"Ah, okay.", Penny replied skeptically. "Hey, I'm running out to the market, do you want to come along?"

"Sure." _Maybe getting fired isn't such a bad thing after all._

They got into Penny's car and hit the road. "So you got canned, huh?"

"Theoretical physicists do not get canned.", Sheldon answered. "But yeah."

"I'm sorry. Well, maybe it's all for the best. You know, I always say, when one door closes, another one opens."

"I doubt that."

"Now you can do whatever you want. What's your dream job?"

"Theoretical physicist."

"Okay, but when you were a kid, what did you want to be?"

"Theoretical physicist."

"Really? I wanted to be a cop. Then a nurse. Rock star. Cop again. Dancer."

"And now actress."

"Exactly. The point is, dreams can change. And you're a smart guy, just think of all the possibilities. Sheldon Cooper, rocket scientist. Or Sheldon Cooper, the inventor of time travel. Or ..."

"I get it, but I just want my job back."

"Why did you get fired anyway?"

"We had a party for the new head of the physics department, Doctor Gablehouser, and I said some things about him – nothing untrue – and I didn't notice that he was standing right there." _Because I was distracted thinking of you._

"Ouch."

"Yeah."

"Do you think you would get your job back if you'd apologize to ... – what was his name again?"

"Gablehouser."

"Funny name. I know you don't want to kowtow to him, but if this job is what you really want, maybe it's worth swallowing your pride."

"You're probably right." _She's really wise._

"We're here.", Penny said and parked the car. "Do you need anything?", she asked as they entered the supermarket.

"Not really. Maybe some eggs."

They strolled through the store, Penny grabbed a couple of things here and there. _This is great. Me, out in the real world with all these ordinary people. And Penny._

15 minutes later

Sheldon put the grocery bags on Penny's kitchen counter. "Uh."

"You know, you could have let me carry one bag."

"It's okay."

"Well, thank you."

"My pleasure.", Sheldon replied and smiled happily. "This was fun."

"Yeah. And educational too. Tomatoes are a fruit, I will remember that."

"We're still on for minigolf tomorrow?"

"Yep. I'll pick you up at nine thirty, okay?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Okay, seen you then."

"Bye."

"Hey, Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Will you do it? Apologize to your boss?"

"I think I will." _But only because you asked me to._

"It's the smart thing to do."

"Yeah. And knowing me, I will only get a lot of crazy ideas when I have too much free time at my hands. Like luminous fish as nightlights."

"That sounds pretty cool actually."

"It does, doesn't it?"

Penny smirked at Sheldon's enthusiasm. "See you tomorrow, mad genius."


	5. The Hamburger Postulate

Saturday, October 20, 2007

"Alright, I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from the Lord of the Rings, we flank the Tennessee volunteers and the North once again wins the battle of Gettysburg.", Leonard said and pushed the salt and pepper shakers to the middle of the table.

"Not so fast.", Howard retorted. "Remember, the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla."

"No, no, no, no. The orcs are magic, Superman is vulnerable to magic, not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois cavalry and Hulk. Sheldon, back me up here."

"Uh, uh?", Sheldon replied distractedly and kept staring at the Cheesecake Factory kitchen door.

Finally Penny appeared. "Hi, you guys ready to order?"

"What would you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?", Howard asked.

"A shower.", Penny answered dryly.

Sheldon smirked. _Beautiful and funny._

"I'll take the heart smart platter."

"Alright, thank you. Sheldon?"

"Uh, I don't know, we've never been here before."

"Just get a hamburger, he likes hamburgers.", Leonard interjected.

"Okay, we have the classic burger, Ranch House, Barbecue burger and the Kobe burger."

"Uh, these all sound delicious."

"How about that? I'll get you the Barbecue burger and if you don't like it, you'll take something else next time."

"Sounds good to me. I think we will eat here frequently. Tuesdays."

Leslie Winkle entered the restaurant and approached the guy's table. "Hey, Leonard. Hi, guys.", she greeted without even looking at Penny. _Arrogant bitch._

"Hey, Leslie."

"I didn't know you ate here."

"We usually don't.", Leonard replied. "But apparently Sheldon decided that we do now."

"I'm glad I ran into you, the physics department string quartet needs a new cellist."

"What happened to Elliot Wong?"

"He switched over to high energy radiation research, had a little mishap and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him. So, are you in?"

"Yeah, sure, why not."

"Great, we rehearse on Tuesdays at your place."

"Why at my place?", Leonard asked.

"Our regular space is kind of a hot zone. See you on Tuesday.", Leslie replied and left, sitting down at an empty table at the other end of the room. _Finally._

"She's cute.", Penny said. _Yeah, in a universe inhabited solely by orcs and Godzilla. _"Anything going on with you two?"

"Leslie?", Leonard answered surprised. "No, are you kidding?"

"He asked her out once, it was an embarrassing failure.", Sheldon commented.

"That's too bad, you guys would make a cute couple."

One hour later

"What did Penny mean, you'd make a cute couple?", Leonard asked as he and Sheldon entered 2311 North Los Robles Avenue.

"What do you mean?"

"If Penny didn't know that Leslie had already turned me down then that would unambiguously mean that she, Penny, thought that I should ask her, Leslie, out, indicating that she, Penny, had no interest in me asking her, Penny, out. But because she did know that I asked Leslie out and that she, Leslie, had turned me down then she, Penny, could be offering consolations. That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple. But while thinking, good, Leonard remains available."

"I strongly tend to the first interpretation."

"Oh, shut up. As if you would know a thing about woman."

"You asked." _And it's obvious anyway that Penny isn't interested in Leonard._

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?" *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?" *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?"

"Hey, Sheldon, what's going on?"

"I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics.", Sheldon replied agitatedly.

"I'm sorry?"

"Just come with me." Not waiting for a response Sheldon took Penny by the wrist and pulled her across the hallway to Leonard's room. "Well?", he asked, pointing at the tie on the doorknob.

"Well what?"

"What does it mean?"

"Oh, come on, you went to college."

"Yes, but nothing like this was addressed in my classes."

"Alright, look, a tie on the doorknob usually means someone doesn't want to be disturbed because they're ... you know, getting busy."

"Oh. You mean ..."

"Yeah."

"Guess we shouldn't be standing here.", Sheldon said and they returned to the living room.

"Do you know who's in there?"

"As this is her violin case I have to assume it's Leslie Winkle."

"I knew it."

"Then why did you ask?"

Penny laughed. "Fair enough. I suspected it."

"Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I hide out at your place until they're done ... getting busy?"

"Sure."

Sheldon grabbed his keys and followed Penny to her apartment.

"Have a seat."

"Thank you.", Sheldon said and sat down on the left side of the couch.

Penny sat down next to him. "Hey, how did you like your burger today?"

"It was good, but I prefer the Barbecue burger."

"So you will continue coming to the Cheesecake Factory?"

"Most certainly. Every Tuesday, you can count on me."

"Great. Wanna watch some TV?"

"Sure."

Penny switched on the TV and zapped through the channels for a couple of minutes before finally settling for a documentary on hippos.

Sheldon barely noticed the massive animal fighting a crocodile on the screen as he constantly glanced over to Penny who's shoulder was touching his. _Why do I have the strong urge to put my arm around her?_

30 minutes later

"Penny?", Sheldon whispered.

Penny was fast asleep and didn't react. Her head rested on Sheldon's shoulder, her hair tickled his neck. _What am I doing now? I don't want to wake her. She must be exhausted._

"Penny?", Sheldon tried again. Still no reaction, but noises coming from the hallway indicated that Leslie was leaving. _That's one less problem._

"Uh, did I fall asleep?, Penny asked and stretched herself.

"Just for a moment."

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize, I hope my shoulder was a comfortable pillow." _Why did I say that?_

Penny laughed. "Yeah, it was. Do you think they're done by now?"

"I think I just heard Leslie leaving."

"Okay, good."

"I'm going to go now."

"Yeah."

"Good night, Penny."

"Good night, Sheldon."


	6. The Middle Earth Paradigm

Who's the coolest superhero of all time?

* * *

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

"Hey, Sheldon, there's something I want to talk to you about before we go to the party.", Leonard started.

"I'm Batman.", Sheldon growled.

"Yeah, I can see that.", Leonard replied. "Uh, so this party is my first chance for Penny to see me in the context of her social group and I need you not to embarrass me tonight."

"What's that supposed to mean?", Sheldon asked slightly disgruntled.

"For example, tonight no one needs to know that my middle name is Leakey."

"There's nothing embarrassing about that, your father worked with Louis Leakey, a great anthropologist. It had nothing to do with your bed-wetting."

"All I'm saying is that this party is the perfect opportunity for Penny to see me as a member of her peer group. A potential close friend and ... perhaps more. I don't want to look like a dork." _Then maybe you shouldn't go as a hobbit._

Without an answer Sheldon left Leonard standing and returned to his room to re-check his costume. _I hope Penny likes Batman. Then again, who doesn't like the dark knight? This party is going to be great._

20 minutes later

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?"

"Hey, guys, you're the first here. Come in."

"We're not too early, are we?", Sheldon asked worriedly because Penny wasn't wearing a costume.

"No, it's okay. And you all look great. Here we have Thor. And Peter Pan, that's so cute."

"Actually he's Rob...", Leonard tried to correct her.

"I'm Peter Pan!", Howard interrupted. "And I've got a handful of pixie dust with your name on it."

"No, you don't.", Penny dismissed his flirting attempt. "And hey, Sheldon is Batman, great costume."

"Thank you." _Yes! She likes it!_

"Okay, I've got to shower, make yourselves comfortable."

The guys sat down on the couch and armchair. _I wonder what costume Penny will wear, I bet she looks great._

One and a half hours later

Sheldon was sitting on Penny's couch while the party around him was in full swing. _This party sucks. Penny hasn't talked to me all evening, I didn't even get to complement her on that wonderful cat costume. Howard, Raj and Leonard are getting themselves one brush-off after another and I don't know anyone else here. And I don't care to get to know them either._

Leonard sat down next to Sheldon. "Hey, what are you sitting here staring holes in the wall? This is a party, get up and talk to peo... – oh no."

"What?"

Leonard pointed at the apartment door. "That's Penny's ex-boyfriend." _Oh great, just as I thought this couldn't get any worse._

"I'm going to leave." _I really don't need to see Penny rekindle her relationship with the guy who cheated on her and stripped me of my pants._

"Why would you leave?"

"Do you remember what happened the last time we crossed paths with him?"

"Of course not, but this is different. Come on, let's talk to him, you have to back me up."

"No, thanks."

"You're a coward. Batman would never run from a fight."

"I'm not Batman. This isn't really an utility belt, neither is this a real body armor.", Sheldon replied. "And I'm smart enough not to pick a fight with someone who could very well be an actual Neanderthal.", he added, referring to Kurt's costume.

"Well, I'm going to talk to him."

"Good luck."

Leonard stood up and approached Kurt who was still standing in the doorframe and talked to Penny. Sheldon surpassed the three and crossed the hallway, fumbling for his keys. _This batsuit costume really needs larger pockets._

"Sheldon? You're not leaving already, are you?", Penny called and followed him.

"I'm sorry, Penny, but this isn't really the kind of company I enjoy. No offense."

"Oh. It is because of Kurt, isn't it?"

"Well, I kind of make a point avoiding people who have the habit of undressing me by force."

"I understand."

Sheldon took a deep breath. "And to be honest, I don't understand why you would invite him. After all what you told me I would think he's the last person on earth you would want to see."

"I know. And it's not like I'm getting back together with him. It's just ... – I ran into him last week and he was all apologetic and ..." Penny was interrupted by a loud squeal and turned around to see Kurt having lifted Leonard of the ground. "I'm sorry, Sheldon, I have to take care of this.", she said and hurried back to her apartment. "Kurt! Put him down this instant!"

"Great costume.", Sheldon whispered.


	7. The Dumpling Paradox

Friday, November 9, 2007

Impatiently Sheldon tapped on his watch. "If we're all through playing mock the flawed technology, can we get on with Halo night? We were supposed to start at eight, it is now 8:06."

"So? We'll start now.", Leonard replied.

There's a knock on the door and Penny entered. "Hey, guys."

"See a Penny, pick her up and all day you'll have good luck.", Howard flirted.

"No, you won't.", Penny dissented. "Uh, can I hide out here for a while?"

"Sure.", Leonard and Sheldon replied simultaneously.

"What's going on?", Sheldon asked, ignoring the bewildered look by his roommate.

"Well, there's this girl I know from back in Nebraska, Christie. She called me up and she's like hey, how's California and I'm like awesome coz, you know, it's not Nebraska. And he next thing I know she's invited herself out here to stay with me. Anyway, she got here today and she's just been in my apartment yakety-yakking about every guy she's slept with in Omaha, which is basically every guy in Omaha, and washing the sluttiest collection of underwear you have ever seen in my bathroom sink."

"Is she doing one thong at a time or does she just throw it all in, like some sort of erotic bouillabaisse?", Howard asked, basically drooling.

Penny looked at him with disgust. "He really needs to dial it down."

"So, if you don't like this Christie, why are you letting her stay?". Leonard questioned.

"Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family."

"Sounds like one fine person.", Sheldon said.

"Yeah, I know. She's a total whore. I mean, she has absolutely no standards, this one time, she was at ... – wait, where's Howard?"

Everyone looked around the living room as they heard Howard's voice coming from the other side of the hallway. "Bonjour mademoiselle, I understand you are new in town."

One and a half hours later

"You're playing really well, Penny.", Sheldon complemented her as she once again hand blown his head off, wining the final match of the evening. _I would have never thought that anyone can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game._

"Well, thank you, Sheldon."

"Since when are you such a fair looser?", Leonard asked.

Sheldon shrugged. _Guess it depends on who you're playing against._

"I still can't believe Christie let Howard into my apartment. And I don't want to know what they're doing in there.", Penny said and shuddered in disgust at the thought. "Any chance I can stay here tonight?"

"Of course.", Sheldon answered quickly.

"You can have my bed if you want to.", Leonard added. "I just got new pillows, hypo-allergenics."

"The couch is good."

Sheldon went to his room and returned with a blanket and a pillow, handing both to Penny. "I advise you to put the pillow on this side of the couch.", he said, pointing at his spot. "Orienting the headboard away from the door serves the ancient imperative of protecting oneself against marauders."

"Sounds logical.", Penny replied and followed Sheldon's advice.

"Okay, we're leaving.", Howard said while Raj, who hadn't said a word in almost two hours, just waved goodbye.

Sheldon looked the door behind them. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, thanks, I'm fine. Good night, Sheldon."

"Good night, Penny."

"Good night, Penny.", Leonard echoed.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Live every Saturday Sheldon woke up at exactly 6:15, his biorhythm not affected by the fact that it had taken him two hours to get to sleep last night. He made his bed, sneaked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth.

Quietly entering the living room he saw that Penny was still asleep. Penny made a cute little snoring noise and turned to the other side. _I really shouldn't be standing here._

Sheldon returned to his room and sat down on the edge of his bed. _I seriously need to get a hold of myself. I can't keep thinking of Penny all the time. Yesterday I got absolutely nothing done at work._

He stood up and wandered up and down the room. _If only I could figure out why she's fascinating me so much. Sure, she's physically attractive, but is this really all? I always thought I was above such superficialities. She's pretty intelligent too, although she doesn't seem to acknowledge than herself. She got a beautiful smile, a great sense of humor and is extraordinarily skilled at video games. She's cheerful, straightforward and ... – no, no, that's not helping at all._

Sheldon laid down on the bed and starred at the ceiling. _Oh Penny, what are you doing to me?_


	8. The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon and Penny getting more intimate - kind of.

* * *

Friday, November 23, 2007

"Okay, here you go, Leonard, one Tequila Sunrise."

"Thank you."

"Okay, Raj, what will it be?"

Raj whispered in Leonard's ear, who repeated his words. "Whatever you recommend."

"Uh, how about a Grasshopper? I make a mean Grasshopper."

Raj nodded.

"Good, coming up." Penny quickly fixed the cocktail and turned to her next costumer slash guinea pig. "Sheldon, what are you going to have?"

"I don't drink alcohol."

"Come on, please, I need to practice mixing drinks."

"Forget it, Penny.", Leonard chipped in. "He's as stubborn as a donkey."

"I'm not stubborn and your characterization of donkeys as stubborn is in no way scientifically underpinned."

Leonard just shrugged and made a donkey-like sound. _I'll show you._

"I have changed my mind. I'll have a drink."

"Okay, great, thank you. What do you want?"

"Uh, I actually don't know any drinks except the ones you served Raj and Leonard."

"Okay, well, how about a Sex on the Beach? That's vodka and peach schnapps with orange and cranberry juice."

Sheldon nodded. _I hope my mother never finds out about this._

"Where did my life go, Penny? One day I'm a carefree bachelor and the next I'm married and driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi." _What the fuck? Is Raj actually talking to a woman?_

Penny looked as surprised as Sheldon. "Are you talking to me?"

"Is there another Penny here?", Raj asked. "I had such plans. I had dreams. I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. But with a penis, of course.", he continued as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him.

"It's amazing.", Leonard whispered. _It truly is. Now Raj just needs to learn how to appropriately talk to women. Especially women like Penny. Well, Penny._

"Ever since I was a little boy my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him. How can I be a gynecologist, I can barely look a woman in the eye. You know what, I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer, it's time for a showdown. Someone give me a computer with a webcam."

"Okay, sweetie, I think that's the Grasshopper talking.", Penny tried to calm him down.

Raj ignored her, finished his drink and stormed out of the apartment.

"Guess we should go after him.", Leonard said and took a last sip of his Tequila Sunrise.

Howard nodded and both left in a hurry.

"Don't you want to go with them?", Penny asked.

"I'm sure Leonard and Howard will be able to handle it.", Sheldon replied. _And I prefer your company over theirs any time._

"Okay, you still want that cocktail?"

_Just say no, Leonard is gone. _"Yes, please."

30 minutes later

"I feel funny, Penny."

"I told you to take it slow, but you insisted on a refill."

Sheldon waved his arms in front of him. "Woo-ho."

"Why don't you take a little nap?", Penny suggest and took Sheldon by the arm, leading him to the couch.

"Penny, Penny, Penny.", Sheldon mumbled.

"Stay.", Penny ordered after laying him down.

"Yes, sir.", Sheldon said and tried to salute, but instead slapped his chest.

Penny couldn't help but smirk. "Sleep well, sweetie."

Two hours later

It was already dark outside as Sheldon woke up and Penny was nowhere to be seen. Still feeling the effects of his first and second cocktail ever Sheldon struggled to his feet and toddled toward the door as he heard a noise in Penny's bedroom. _I really shouldn't._

But alcohol lets people do a lot of things they shouldn't. Tiptoeing to the halfway open bedroom door Sheldon peeked inside and froze. _Holy mother of god!_

Penny, only dressed in a pair of panties, was drying her hair with a towel and didn't notice Sheldon, who quickly retreated. Now completely sober and the picture of almost naked Penny burned deep into his eidetic memory he sneaked out of apartment 4B, closing the door behind himself. _That was close. I don't want to know what Penny would have done if she caught me. She probably would never talk to me again – and rightfully so. What has gotten into me?_


	9. The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sunday, December 2, 2007

"Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?"

"Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around it, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out."

"It's from the ..."

"I know what letter it is and I read it before I threw it out."

"Okay, if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out?"

"Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgmental strangers, who wouldn't recognize true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were there, it would be."

"Are there any other honors I've gotten that I don't know about? Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?"

_Oh, mister self-overestimation strikes again. _"Yeah, sure.", Sheldon answered sarcastically, surprising himself.

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "Sheldon, we have to do this."

"No, we don't." _But I do need to see Penny._

"Okay, let me put it this way, I'm doing it."

"You can't, I'm the lead author."

"Oh, come on.", Leonard replied annoyed. "The only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically." _Or so I let you believe._

"You know what, Leonard? Do whatever you want, I don't care." _I've got more important things on my mind._

Surprised that he won the argument so easily Leonard retreated to his room with a smug grin on his face.

Sheldon opened his desk drawer and took out a red envelope. With sweaty hands he walked over to apartment 4B. _I hope she likes it. _*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?" *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?" *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?"

It took Penny almost a minute to open the door with sleepy eyes. "Sheldon?"

"Oh, I ... – I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry."

"Just a little Sunday afternoon nap, no big deal."

"Oh, okay."

"Sheldon, why are you here?", Penny asked after ten seconds of silence.

"Oh, right. I came here ... – I want to con..." _Come on, Sheldon, pull yourself together._ "Happy birthday."

"Oh. Thank you."

"I also got you a gift.", Sheldon said and brought it up from behind his back.

"Really? You didn't have to."

"I wanted to."

Penny opened the envelope. "Wow. A coupon for a spa weekend at Naraca Resort?"

"I thought you might enjoy it. After all you have a hard job and ..."

"I don't know what to say."

"Do you like it?" _Please say yes, please say yes._

"Yes, it's great. Thank you, Sheldon.", Penny said and hugged Sheldon, giving him a warm feeling in the chest. "I hope this was not too expensive?", she asked after letting go.

"No, don't worry." _As if anything could be too expensive for you._

"Well, thanks again. Do you want to come in?"

"If I'm not disturbing."

"Not at all." Penny stepped aside and Sheldon entered. "You know, you're actually the first to congratulate me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, my parents called earlier today, but you're the first in person. Have a seat."

"Thanks. So you're not celebrating?"

"No, not really. I mean, twenty-two, that's just one year closer to thirty."

Sheldon gave her a short laugh, not knowing what to say to that.

"But I'm glad you're here, I wasn't outside all day and I've got nothing to do, I was starting to get serious cabin fever."

"I'm glad I can help. Maybe we can order take-out, what would you like? My treat of course."

"Sheldon, you already bought me a gift, you don't have to invite me for dinner."

"Chinese? Italian?", Sheldon asked, ignoring Penny's objection.

"Well, if you're letting me choose I say we order pizza."

"Very well. We usually order from Antonio's, unless you ..."

"No, that's okay. Do you think Leonard wants some too?"

"I don't know.", Sheldon replied. "He's preparing for a speech he's giving next week, so he's probably busy."

"Well, then it's just the two of us."


	10. The Loobenfeld Decay

Friday, December 14, 2007

Leonard entered apartment 4A and closed the door, leaning against it. "Wow."

Sheldon gave him a brief glance, then he continued to type away at his laptop.

"Wow.", Leonard repeated.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. _Fine, you got my attention._ "What is it, Leonard?", he asked, trying to sound as caring as possible.

"It's Penny, she ..."

"Penny? Is she alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine, but my ears might have taken some severe damage."

"What are you talking about?"

"As I was walking up the stairs I heard Penny practicing for her part in this musical and it was ... awful. No, awful doesn't quite meet the point, it was ... horrific. Yeah, that's it, horrific."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"It was, trust me. I told Penny we couldn't make it to her performance because we have a symposium on molecular positronium next Friday."

"No, that's a week from Tuesday."

"I know."

"You lied to Penny?"

"Yeah, I had to."

"Why?"

"Hello? Didn't you listen to me? If we go there, she will ask as if she was good and then ... – I prefer to avoid such a situation."

"I'm uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.", Sheldon said. "If you insist on lying to her, that's your decision, but I won't be part of it."

"I'm sorry, that was the best excuse I could come up with in the moment. You don't have to lie, just don't mention it."

Sheldon considered this option for a few seconds. "No, I'm not comfortable with that either. When Penny comes back, I will tell her that I will gladly attend her performance and that I don't have any other plans."

"You can't do that."

"Of course I can. And I will."

"But then she will know that I lied to her."

"Well, that's your problem, maybe you should have thought about it before lying to Penny."

"Come on, I'm your best friend, you can't do this to me."

"You brought that on yourself.", Sheldon said, took his laptop and went to his room.

Two hours later

Sheldon was just about to knock at Penny's door as he got second thoughts. _Maybe Leonard wasn't completely wrong. Of course lying to Penny is wrong, but if she's actually not good at signing, her performance will be rather embarrassing and I don't want to witness that. Then again, I can't imagine she's that bad._

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?" *Knock, knock, knock* "Penny?"

"Hey, Sheldon, what's up?"

"Hello, Penny. I ... – I just wanted to tell you that I will be there next Friday for the musical."

"That's great, but didn't Leonard say you're having some kind of symposium that day?"

"He did."

"But you're not going?"

"I haven't decided that yet, but it doesn't matter."

Penny looked confused. "I'm afraid I can't quite follow you. If your symposium is at the same day and time as my musical ..."

"It isn't."

"It's not?"

"No, the symposium is a week from Tuesday."

"Oh. So Leonard got the dates confused?"

"Not exactly. He lied."

"What? Why?"

"Well, he heard you singing on the stairs and according to him you weren't ... good."

"Oh, that's ..."

"I want to emphasize that's only Leonard's opinion and not mine." _And what does he know?_ "I'm sure you will do just fine."

"Okay, thanks for the clarification. I'm gonna have to think about that.", Penny said and closed the door. _Great job, Sheldon, now she's sad and you completely shook her confidence._


	11. The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"Checkmate.", Sheldon stated. _So easy._ _Like taking candy from a baby. Or beating a baby in chess._

"Damn it.", Leonard cursed.

"Obviously you're not well suited for three-dimensional chess, perhaps three dimensional Candy Land would be more your speed.", Sheldon mocked him. "It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels."

"Oh, shut up. I'm going to bed.", Leonard replied stomped off. _And yet he claims I'm the bad looser._

Penny knocked and entered. "Hi, Sheldon."

"Hi." _It's been far too long._

"Did you get my mail?"

"Yes, of course." Sheldon hurried to his desk and handed Penny the pile of envelopes and the key to her letterbox. "How was Nebraska?"

"Better than North Dakota.", Penny joked.

Sheldon smiled weakly. "Yeah."

"I guess that joke is only funny in Nebraska.", Penny said. "Anyway, it's good to be back."

"How was your family?"

"Ugh, it was the worst trip, everyone got sick over Christmas."

"Oh. I hope you're alright."

"I'm fine.", Penny answered. "Hey, is Leonard here? I know it's a bit late, but I got presents for the both of you."

"He's in his room."

"Great, I'll be back in a minute."

*Knock, knock, knock* "Leonard?"

"Go away, Sheldon, I'm not playing three-dimensional chess with you ever again." _I wouldn't say you were ever really playing it._

"Penny is back from Nebraska and she wants to give us presents."

Penny was already waiting in the living room, holding two same sized packages. "Hey, Leonard. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

"Okay, wait a second. Uh, I wrapped these before I went to Nebraska. I think the red one is for Sheldon. Yeah, that's yours."

"Thank you.", Sheldon said an quickly remove the wrapping paper. It was a black cotton pullover with white writing. _Genius at work. Finally someone who gets me._

Leonard got the same pullover, just without the writing. _Well, if that isn't telling._

Friday, December 28, 2007

"Sheldon? Can I come in?"

"Penny?", Sheldon replied weakly, his voice barely audible through the door.

"I take that as a yes.", Penny said and entered Sheldon's room for the very first time. "I know you don't want people in here, but Leonard told me you're sick and I wanted to check up on you."

"Thank you."

"How do you feel?"

"Not so good." _But significantly better than a minute ago._

"Anything I can do for you?"

"Well, uh ... can you rub this on my chest?", Sheldon asked hesitantly.

"Oh. Well, if it helps."

Sheldon unbuttoned his pajama shirt and Penny started to rub the smelly liquid on his chest.

"Feeling better?", Penny asked after two minutes.

"Yes, thank you."

"Okay, so ... you probably want your rest, so I'm ..."

"Penny?" _Please don't leave._

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can you sing Soft Kitty?"

"What?"

"My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick."

"I'm sorry, honey, I don't know it."

"Oh.", Sheldon said disappointedly.

"You could teach me.", Penny offered. "And then I could sing it to you. If it makes you feel better."

"Thank you, Penny."

Penny sat back down at the edge of the bed. "Okay, so how does it go?"


	12. The Jerusalem Duality

Sheldon finally becomes aware of his feelings for Penny (I know I'm playing this slow, but don't worry, we're going somewhere)

* * *

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"Since when are you doing your laundry on Tuesdays?", Penny asked and put her basket next to Sheldon's.

"I don't know, what does it matter?"

Penny furrowed her eyebrows. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"The Sheldon Cooper I know does his laundry on Saturday, 8:15 p.m. – on time, every week. I may not know why, but I know it does matter."

"Well ..."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"There's this new guy at work, Dennis Kim, and he ..."

"Is he bullying you?"

"No, he's just a kid, fifteen years old, and he ..."

"Fifteen years and he works at the university? Or is he a student?"

"He's a doctoral candidate Doctor Gablehauser is trying to recruit for the university."

"Okay, continue."

"As I said, he's fifteen years old and he is – according to Gablehouser – the new rising star in the world of physics. When I was his age, fourteen and a half to be exact, I won the Stevenson Award and I was the youngest to ever win it. Until Dennis Kim."

"There's no shame in being the second youngest to ever win a price, Sheldon."

"There's no pride in it either.", Sheldon replied gloomily. "It's like he's me, just younger and better."

"I bet my ridiculous waitress salary that he's not. Better I mean, he's obviously younger."

"You think?"

"Well, I don't know him, but I know you. And you're the smartest guy I ever met."

"Thanks."

"And hell, even if he's smarter than you, who cares?" _Given and taken away._

"I care.", Sheldon answered defiantly.

"But you shouldn't.", Penny argued. "There's always gonna be someone better. Just take me for instance. I think we don't even need to talk about people who are smarter than me and ..."

"You're underestimating yourself.", Sheldon interrupted her.

"That's nice of you, but let's be realistic. As I was trying to say, there are a lot of better actresses then me apparently and also more attractive ones." _Now it's just getting ridiculous._

"Penny, you are ..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Thanks for trying to cheer me up."

"Is it working?", Penny asked and smiled brightly at him.

"It is." _How could it not? Her smile could end wars and cure cancer._

"Good. Hey, how about we leave the laundry and grab a bite to eat? I think you could need a distraction and there's a new bistro down the street."

"It's not laundry night anyway."

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sheldon shut down his laptop and moaned in annoyance. _Stupid internet. Why does there have to be an answer to everything?_

He shook his head. _There's now more denying it. I'm in love. With Penny. I'm in love with Penny. Wonderful, beautiful Penny. Living next door, yet completely unattainable Penny. Not in a thousand years a woman like her could fall for a nerd like me._

Sheldon went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. _I never thought this would happen to me. I always thought I was above these ... feelings. Guess I'm not that special after all. Not like Penny._


	13. The Bat Jar Conjecture

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Penny almost stumbled over Sheldon as she walked down the stairs. "Sheldon, what are you doing here sitting in the middle of the stairs?", she asked a little bit angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting out of your way."

"Wow, what's with the long face? Did Dennis Kim show up again?"

"No, he's gone."

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Leonard kicked me off his Physics Bowl team." _And I'm hopelessly in love with you._

"I'm sorry. But you didn't want to participate in the first place, right?"

"Yeah, but ..."

"But what?"

"It's different now."

"So you want to do it now?"

"No."

"But you want it to be your choice and not Leonard's.", Penny stated.

"Yes." _She understands me so well._

"Well, I guess there's nothing you can do."

"And that's exactly the problem."

"Just focus on the positive side."

"And that is?"

"You got what you wanted and Leonard probably won't bug you again. And if he does, you got the upper hand. Win-win."

"You're right. Thank you, Penny."

"Always a pleasure, sweetie."

"And as bonus I got a free night tomorrow." _Leonard free._

"Yeah.", Penny replied. "Wait, the Physics Bowl is tomorrow?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, Leonard asked me to come and I said yes, but he never told me the date and now I already got other plans."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure Leonard will understand."

"You think? I don't want to let him down and I kind of make a point of keeping my word." _Of course you do, because you're perfect._

"Well, you can't be at two places at the same time."

"Are you sure? Isn't there some physics voodoo I can use?", Penny joked.

"Physics voodoo? Did you really just say that?"

"A joke, Sheldon, just a joke. No need to freak out."

"I'm not freaking out."

"Okay, well, guess I have to tell Leonard I can't come." _That's too bad._

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Penny, wearing a blue dress, entered apartment 4A and groaned annoyed.

"What's wrong?", Sheldon asked.

"My old friend from Nebraska just called and told me she couldn't make it, now I'm all dressed up for nothing."

"I'm sorry." _Not about the dressing up part though. Damn, she looks especially gorgeous tonight._

"Guess I could got to Leonard's Physics Bowl after all."

Sheldon looked at his watch even though he knew exactly how late it was. "It already started, until you get there it will be half over."

"Yeah.", Penny said and sat down on the couch. "What's that? Smells great."

"That's the perfect way to celebrate an evening without Leonard, Raj and Howard. Not only that Kadai Paneer is Indian cuisine, which Koothrappali dislikes, it also contains a generous helping of peanuts – to which Howard is allergic – and it's main ingredient is a cottage cheese Leonard can't eat due to his lactose intolerance.", Sheldon explained.

"You've given this some thought.", Penny commented.

"You can have some if you want."

"Are you sure? I don't want to disturb your free night."

"That's okay." _More than okay. _"I'll get you a plate. Maharaja Palace has huge portions."

"Can you get a napkin too? I don't want to mess up my dress."

Sheldon returned with a plate, cutlery and a napkin. "Here you go."

"Thanks, I'm starving."

Two hours later

"Shouldn't Leonard be home by now?"

Sheldon shrugged. _Who cares?_ "Maybe they went celebrating afterwards."

"You really think they won without you?"

"Possibly. It's not like I made my own team. And if not, maybe they're drowning themselves in alcohol. That's what people do, right?"

Penny laughed out loud. "I guess. Sometimes. Maybe they're afraid you will make fun of them."

"I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No, it's ... – it's amusing. For me. Not so much for them I guess."

Ashamedly Sheldon stared on his feet.

"Hey, who did they recruit to replace you anyway?"

"Leslie Winkle."

"Ouch. Kicked of the team and replaced by your archenemy."

"It's okay." _Why would I care about Leonard or Leslie if I get to spend the evening with Penny?_

"I'm glad you're chilled about it. Okay, I should go, I've got the early shift tomorrow."

"Okay, see you on Tuesday. If not sooner." _Hopefully sooner._

"I had a really nice evening, Sheldon."

"Me too." _Almost like a date._

"Okay, good night."

"Good night, Penny."


	14. The Nerdvana Annihilation

Saturday, February 16, 2008

"What are you doing?"

"I'm packing up all my collectibles and taking them down to the comic book store to sell."

"If you need money I could borrow you ..."

"It's not about the money."

"If it's not about the money, why do you want to sell it?"

"Penny thinks toys and costumes and comic books are stupid." _She does?_ "I almost speared – or to the extent that this is possible – when I carried up our new sword yesterday. Thanks for helping by the way."

"You're welcome.", Sheldon replied distractedly.

"Oh, will you ever learn sarcasm? Anyway, she said that grown men shouldn't waste their time on these things and I ..."

"Maybe she's right.", Sheldon muttered. _Maybe if I weren't such a nerd with toys, costumes and comic books I had a chance with Penny. Maybe._

Raj and Howard entered the apartment. "Hola, nerdmigos.", the engineer greeted. "What's going on here?"

"I'm selling all my collectibles.", Leonard repeated. "Stuart offered me a fair price for the whole collection."

Howard stared at him, completely flabbergasted. "You can't do that. Look what you've created here, it's like nerdvana."

"Still, it's time for me to get rid of this stuff and move on with my life."

"Sheldon, are you really going to let him do that?"

"I think he's right, we've outgrown these things."

Now even Leonard looked irritated. "I know why I'm doing this, but what about you? Where's the sudden change of mind coming from?"

"Even though it rarely happens, I can acknowledge when you say something smart."

"Geez, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"What the hell is going on?", Penny asked who entered unnoticed to all of the guys.

"We're selling our toys and comics.", Sheldon answered.

"Leonard? Look, if this is about yesterday, I'm really sorry about what I said. I was just a bit upset and I've had a hard day and ... – I'm sorry, okay? Don't sell your stuff because of me. And you neither, Sheldon." _Thank you, thank you, thank you._

No one said anything until Raj whispered something to Howard. "Not now.", he hissed back.

"I've got to go to work, but promise me you won't do anything rash, okay?"

Leonard and Sheldon nodded and Penny made her way down the stairs.

"I have to show you something.", Raj said as she was out of hearing range and opened his laptop. "I found it last night. Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop from the original film and no one is bidding on it."

"A time machine from the movie The Time Machine?", Sheldon asked.

"No, a time machine from Sophie's Choice.", Leonard replied sarcastically.

"Boy, Sophie could have used a time machine in that movie. Did you see it, it's rough.", Raj commented. "Anyway, check this out."

"It's only 800 dollar?", Leonard asked surprised.

"Yeah. And that's my bid.", Raj replied proudly. "The guy who lives next to me is always like I have a jacuzzi on my balcony, I have a jacuzzi on my balcony. But wait until I tell him I've got a time machine on my balcony – stuff that in your speedos, jacuzzi Bob!"


	15. The Porkchop Indeterminacy

Monday, March 3, 2008

"Here and ..." Missy turned to the next page of the document "... here."

Sheldon put down his signatures and handed the paper back to his twin sister.

"Well, that should do it."

"Thank you for coming by."

"I have to say, you seem changed, but I can't put my finger on it."

"Well, I ... – looks like you attracted the attention of my friends."

"That happens from time to time.", Missy said and waved at Raj, Leonard and Howard. "Wait, that's it, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You met a girl! My little brother is finally growing up!"

"Psst! Not so loud."

"Why? Does my little brother have a scandalous secret affair?"

"Just don't say anything to my friends, we can talk about this later.", Sheldon whispered. "And you're only twenty minutes older than me."

"Fine. But don't think you're getting away this easy."

Two hours later

"So?", Missy asked upon closing Sheldon's bedroom door.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb on me, spill it."

"I'm afraid you have to be a bit more specific." _Just drop it, please._

"Your girl, Sheldon, I want to know it all." _Oh, I wish she were my girl._

"There is no girl, not in the way you suspect at least."

"So there is a girl, who is it?" _If she had shown that kind of curiosity in school, she wouldn't have to be a hostess at Fuddruckers._

"Penny, she lives across the hallway."

"That's convenient."

"There's nothing going on, I just ... like her. That's it."

"Oh, I think you do more than just like her."

"It doesn't matter, she's ..."

"She's what? Did she turn you down?"

"No, not directly. She doesn't know that I ... like her. We're friends, that's all and that's all we're ever going to be."

"You can't be sure as long as you don't ask her out, Shelly." _Somehow that reminds me of a conversation I had with Leonard not too long ago._

"No, that's ... – no. And you can't tell anyone about this."

"My lips are sealed, but my advice stays the same. Ask her out, tell her how you feel."

"I can't. She will turn me down, maybe laugh at me, it will be humiliating. And then he will tell Leonard and he will tell Howard and next the whole university knows. And then everyone will make fun of me like in college."

"Yeah, maybe that will happen. Or maybe she ... likes you too and you go on a date and then ... – who knows? And anyway, if my little brother falls for her, she has to be a really special girl."

"She is." _The most wonderful human being I can imagine._

"I'm sure she won't laugh at you. Yes, it could be embarrassing and maybe it will be a bit awkward afterwards, but seriously, what's the alternative? Hide your feelings forever, but still see her every day, watch her end up with another guy?"

"Leonard likes her too."

"Uh, a love triangle. You're really growing up."

"You're not helping."

"Sorry.", Missy apologized. "So, tell me more about her? Is she hot?" _Hell yeah._

"She's beautiful. And charming and funny and ... just wonderful. Perfect."

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You want to meet Penny?", Sheldon asked skeptically.

"Of course. A girl who makes my little brother blush and look all dreamily – I'm only here until tomorrow, but I can't miss this."

"I don't think that's a good idea." _That's definitely not a good idea._

"Oh, come on, Shelly."

"Don't call me Shelly.", Sheldon hissed angrily.

"I could put in a good word for you.", Missy tried to convince him.

"Really?"

"Of course. And also I have to check out if she's good enough for my little Shelly."

Half an hour later

"Shelly?"

"Sheldon, my name is Sheldon."

"I know, Shelly. But did you know that Penny has a boyfriend?"

"You already talked to her? What did you say? What did she say?"

"I asked her if I could hide out at her place because Leonard, Raj and Howard are hitting on me. Then we got talking and I can definitely tell you that she likes you. Did you know she has a boyfriend?"

"Yes, Mike."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Do about it?", Sheldon echoed.

"What's your plan to get rid of him? Penny is a good catch, but before you have a shot that Mike guy needs to go."

"What do you think of me? I'm not going to sabotage Penny's relationship. I want her to be happy." _Even if it's not with me._

"All is fair in love and war, Shelly." _All?_


	16. The Peanut Reaction

Thursday, March 20, 2008

"Sheldon, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, come in."

"Okay, here's the deal, we are going to throw Leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on Saturday."

"I hardly think so, Leonard made it very clear that he doesn't want a party." _And why would I throw a party for Leonard? And why would Penny want to throw a party for Leonard? I wonder if she will do the same for my birthday._

"He just doesn't know he wants one because he never had one."

"I don't know.", Sheldon replied hesitantly. _I've never had you and yet I still know I want you._

"Pretty please.", Penny said and fluttered her eyelashes at Sheldon. _Why am I even trying? I know I can't deny Penny anything._

"Fine, let's throw Leonard a kick-ass birthday party."

"Great, thank you.", Penny replied beaming with joy and hugged Sheldon. _I'm so screwed._

Saturday, March 22, 2008

"I can't believe Leonard didn't show up.", Penny said and slumped on the couch next to Sheldon.

"Yeah."

"I mean, it is probably my fault for telling Howard to get him out the apartment, but still."

"Yeah."

"What a waste."

"Yeah."

"Okay, enough complaining. Do you want help cleaning up?"

"No, it's not that bad.", Sheldon answered.

Penny looked irritated at him. "Are you serious? Your apartment looks like a battlefield. Sorry about that by the way, I didn't want the party to get that ..."

"... kick-ass?"

Penny gave a short laugh. "Well, at least Koothrappali had fun."

"I hope you as well.", Sheldon said with questioning undertone.

"Yeah. I just wish Leonard had been there." _Leonard, Leonard, Leonard. _"I mean, what is a birthday party without the birthday kid?"

"Just a normal party."

"Yeah."

"If it's any comfort to you, I don't think Leonard will feel like he missed something as he never had a birthday party."

"But that's exactly why I wanted to do this. It's sad, isn't it?"

"I never liked my birthdays."

"You never talk about your childhood.", Penny remarked.

"Not to many good memories.", Sheldon just replied.

"Yeah. Okay, it's almost midnight, if you don't want my help, I'm ..."

"Good night, Penny."

"Good night, Sheldon.", Penny replied and headed for the door. "And thanks for your help, sorry it didn't quite turn out as planned."

"Penny, I ..." _Just say it._

"What?"

"Nothing. Good night." _Coward._

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sheldon wiped his whiteboard for the fifth time since lunch. _Why am I even here? I get nothing done at all. All. All is fair in love and war, that's what Missy said. Get rid of Mike._

"I can't believe I'm even thinking about this.", Sheldon mumbled to himself. _I know it's wrong. If Penny likes him I shouldn't intervene. If only I knew if this Mike is a decent guy. If he will treat Penny good. If he will make her happy. Penny deserves to be happy. I want her to be happy. More than anything else._

Sheldon took his laptop and opened his favorite browser. "Mike ... Patton", he said outloud as he typed the name in the search engine. _Uh, a blog._ Reading the first few lines Sheldon froze. _Oh my god!_


	17. The Tangerine Factor

Thursday, March 27, 2008

For the sixth time Sheldon took the small white envelope out of his wastepaper basket and put it back on his desk. _This is ridiculous, I need to make up my mind. It took me three days to even come up with this solution, now I have to go through with it. Penny deserves to know the truth._

Determinately Sheldon left his room and crossed the hallway. Quickly checking that no one could see him he slipped the anonymous message containing the link to Mike's blog under the door. _So, it's done, no way of going back. Yeah, keep lying to yourself. Penny won't be home for hours and you have the key to her apartment._

"It's the right thing to do.", Sheldon tried to reassure himself. _She would want to know._

Friday, March 28, 2008

"Why did this take so long?", Sheldon asked as Leonard entered with the Chinese take-out. "Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?"

"Penny agreed to go on a date with me.", Leonard replied happily.

"What?" _No, no, no! This can't be happening._

"It's true. Her ex-boyfriend wrote about their sex life on the internet, they had a big fight and she broke up with him. I just ran into her on the stairs, we talked for a bit and now we're going on a date. On Monday.", Leonard recounted proudly.

Sheldon was speechless and just stared at his roommate. _I'm such an idiot. I drove her directly into his arms. _"I have to go.", he stammered and headed towards his room.

"Hey, what about your tangerine chicken?"

"I'm not hungry." _It's not really tangerine chicken anyway._

Monday, March 31, 2008

Sheldon pretended to work on his laptop, but from the corner of his eye he watched his roommate getting ready for his date with Penny.

"Okay, I'll be off then.", Leonard said and was just about to open the apartment door as someone knocked on it. "Hey, Penny, I just wanted to pick you up. Ready for our date?"

"Uh, yeah, about that ... – can I talk to Sheldon for a second?"

"To Sheldon?"

"Yeah, I ... – my computer is ... broken and I ..."

"I can take a look at it."

"No, it's ... – I think I need Sheldon." _I'm good enough for fixing her computer, but Leonard gets to go on a date with her. Just say no for once._ "Sheldon?"

"I'm coming." _I'm so weak._

"Thanks."

Sheldon followed Penny over to her apartment. _Damn, she looks especially gorgeous tonight._

Penny closed the door behind them. "Have a seat."

Sheldon sat down on the couch and looked around. "Where's your ..."

"I feel horrible.", Penny blurted out and sat down next to Sheldon.

"What? Why?"

"Well, for starters, I lied, my computer doesn't need fixing." _Then why am I here? Is she messing with me?_ "And I can't go on this date with Leonard."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Why?" _There are so many possible reasons._

"It just wouldn't be fair. He's a nice guy, but there's someone else I really like and I much rather would like to be with right now." _Oh great, another guy. Probably one of these brainless musclemen._

"Why are you telling me this?", Sheldon asked, not even trying anymore to hide his disgruntlement.

"Because ... the guy, he's ... you."

For the first time in years Sheldon's mind was blank. He didn't think, he just acted. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Penny's.

* * *

Okay, that's it for part one. I hope you liked it at least a bit. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited and/or followed this story.


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